Seducing Simon (2006) by Maya Banks
Summary: Toni, our heroine, has been in lurve with Simon the Stud . . . ly Fireman forever. One night, she catches Simon drunk and on the rebound and has drunken (but orgasmic all the same) sex with him. Simon was so friggin’ drunk that he doesnt even remember that he took Toni’s maidenhead the morning after. Except, ooops, Toni the Stupid Virgin was not on the pill and is now preggers. What’s a gal to do?
Long Ramblings: At 202 pages, this book reads like a reject from the Harlequin Presents line. It would have to be retitled “The Fireman’s Secret Baby” which doesnt have the same earning bracket as Sheik, Tycoon, Millionaire, Billionaire, and Trillionaire which are the only type of heroes Harlequin accepts, hence the rejection. Unfortunately, while a Harlequin Presents is an easy swallow at $4.50 a pop, this baby set me back $11.50. Which is more than twice the price of a HP, hence my ire. (If you buy it in its original e-book format, it still sets you back more than a HP at $5.50.)
Okay, let’s be honest here. We buy these e-books for a hot read, the smut, yo. Except in the case of Seducing Simon, I really have read actual Harlequin books that are waaaaaaaaay sexier than this one. Add a TSTL heroine that makes Britney Spears look like Mother of the Year and I am thinking I might be generous with my grade here.
Colters’ Woman (2006)
Summary: Holly, our heroine, is running away from her psycho-killer husband. Fate decree that Holly ends up at the Colters’ ranch with the three Colter brothers. The Colter have a family tradition that is like a reverse Mormon — instead of one dude having many wives, all 3 dudes are looking for just one wife . . . to share. I kid you not. This is suppose to be a menage a quartre romance. Holly, with her virginity (she ran away from psycho hubby on her wedding nite) and her big-ass trust fund, is obviously The One the Colters Have Been Waiting For. Much sexual antics ensues with some weak suspense elements thrown in.
Long Ramblings: This e-book had been at the top of the Samhain website’s Bestseller List for MONTHS so I finally gave in to see what all the fuss was about.
The verdict? This is some good smut. Exhausting, going-at-it-like-bunnies, how-the-heck-do-they-do-that, jaw-dropping smut. You know how exhausting it is to read about Skye O’Malley or Erica Kane as they go through their countless marriages and lovers over a period of 25 years? Well, Colters’ Woman is like that except condensed to about, um, 2 weeks.
Okay, so why the B-? Well, a girl cannot live on smut alone (altho seton tries, real hard) and the fallin-in-love aspects are not very believable. IMO, Holly only has a real connection with Ryan, the youngest Colter brother. I wouldnt be surprised if Holly and Ryan run off together and leave the other 2 behind. However, I admire Banks for going out there with this story that I will swallow the whole fantasy. The fantasy that Holly loves all the Colters equally. The fantasy that Holly has the energy to service all three oversexed men at least once. Every. Single. Day.
Jeez, I’m exhausted just typing this book review.
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