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1. Samhain Publishing (probably my favorite e-book publisher) will be having a First Line Contest starting this Monday on their blog. Ultimate prize is an opportunity to submit your manuscript for publication in their 2008 schedule. (more…)

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I like reading the section on a romance site where other readers are looking for books that they read long ago and cannot remember. I have a good memory and I like to help out when I can. Yet at times, I come across a request that makes me question why someone would ever want to read that book again. It must be the trainwreck factor.

I especially love this one titled “Pizza Delivery Girl gets Sex and Triplets and No Tip”

I am hoping someone on these boards will recognize this book. I read it about five years ago, but it was an old book at the time. I am thinking maybe one of those Candlelight romances. It was a contemporary.
The h is a young college student who works delivering pizza. She makes a delivery where the man is drunk because of some disaster or other in his life. I think his nephew ordered the pizza or something like that, but the H thinks she’s there for him. Although the author never really comes out and says so, you get the impression that the H basically rapes her. When he sobers up and realizes what he has done, (she was a virgin and he remembers that, so she couldn’t be the woman he thought she was) he hires private detectives to find her. Naturally he is older and wealthy so he can do this. She has dropped out of school and disappeared. When he finally finds her more than a year later, she has given birth to triplets, his children, and is struggling and in poor health. He marries her and then the relationship developes and they have an HEA.

Maybe I am naive and there really are escort services that delivers pizza (Domin-ho Pizza?) but WTF kind of plot is that? It’s so horrible that I laugh everytime I see that post. Oh, BTW, if by some happenstance you do know what this book is, contact Brina at the Romantic Times Board and put her out of her misery. Please.

And I am preserving for all posterity this beaut from the AAR boards:

I read this book years ago and I can’t remember the title or author, but i know what it was about. It starts out in England with a girl that just swam in a pond and this man sees her laying naked by the water and he takes advantage of her, she tells her brothers so they make her get married to him and he leaves with her back to america. Long story short she gets sold as a slave, branded as a runaway, kidnapped, mistreated by all sorts of men, but she always ends up with her husband during all this. She gets stranded on a deserted island with him and he treats her like crap, but she loves him anyways and in the end she ends up going back to england with her baby she didn’t tell he had. He goes and finds her, sees his kid and they live happily ever after. I would really like to find this book and author please help me!


I must have no imagination because I can’t imagine a more horrible book . . . well, with the possible exception of Christine Monson’s Stormfire, of course. In my eeeevil imagination, I sometimes wonder if I shouldn’t think of the worst imaginary non-romantic plot that I can think of and post it on the boards and see the others go crazy trying to come up with possible matches. Of course, anyone who knows me reasonably well and have even a modicum of smarts would know that I would be joking.

Bummer.


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Not My Top 100

A few months ago, there was a meme going around the blogs in which everyone and their dog commented on All About Romance’s poll of Top 100 Romances done in 2004. Might as well start with that to give a sense of what I like and don’t like.

Note: My comments are in bold. DNR=Did Not Read.

1. Lord of Scoundrels Loretta Chase I love Chase; I was reading her when she was still writing traditional regencies but give it a rest with “the most perfect romance” thing already.

2. Flowers From the Storm Laura Kinsale Not my favorite Kinsale but the grandstand at the end just kills me. The empty tissue box tells me that it did its job.

3. Welcome to Temptation Jennifer Crusie DNR and don’t want to either.

4. As You Desire Connie Brockway Just as good as Lord of Scoundrels, if not better. Why is this #4 and LoS #1?

5. Bet Me Jennifer Crusie The hell? Plodding, badly paced, repetitious novel. Step away from the bong, people!

6. Dreaming of You Lisa Kleypas Derek is a great character but the story itself really sags in the middle when Derek and Sarah are seperated too long.

7. Outlander Diana Gabaldon Don’t know if we need a retelling of how Jamie’s father died three different times but otherwise very good.

8. Over the Edge Suzanne Brockmann DNR

9. All Through the Night Connie Brockway Very good.

10. Sea Swept Nora Roberts DNR. I refuse to comply with Roberts’ plan to take over the world.

11. It Had to be You Susan Elizabeth Phillips Did nothing for me. I don’t understand the author’s appeal.

12. A Summer to Remember Mary Balogh Meh. I like old-style Balogh, not this more steamline, generic version for mass consumption.

13. Morning Glory LaVyrle Spencer Good.

14. The Proposition Judith Ivory Fabulous, but Judith Ivory at her cutie best felt kinda. . . weird.

15. A Kingdom of Dreams Judith McNaught It was okay but I was already getting sick of the McNaught formula when this came along.

16. Ravished Amanda Quick This one has the cravat bondage, right? It’s the only way I would be able to differentiate it from any other Quick novel.

17. Frederica Georgette Heyer Dont remember it too well.

18. Mrs. Drew Plays Her Hand Carla Kelly Good

19. MacKenzie’s Mountain Linda Howard Good, but MacKenzie’s Pleasure was the best one in the series IMO.

20. Mr. Perfect Linda Howard Very good

21. The Grand Sophy Georgette Heyer Meh

22. Pride and Prejudice Jane Austen If you’re gonna have P&P on the list, you gotta put it up higher. This is Jane Freakin’ Austen!

23. The Bride Julie Garwood My favorite Garwood, I think. If I can differentiate it from any other Garwood, that is.

24. Devil’s Bride Stephanie Laurens Good

25. To Have and to Hold Patricia Gaffney The redemption of Sebastian didnt ring true to me but the writing is lovely.

26. Born in Fire Nora Roberts DNR

27. Winter Garden Adele Ashworth Unbelievably overrated. Terrible pacing.

28. Gone Too Far Suzanne Brockmann DNR

29. The Viscount Who Loved Me Julia Quinn The series still had juice when this came out.

30. Saving Grace Julie Garwood No comment

31. My Dearest Enemy Connie Brockway Good

32. In the Midnight Rain Ruth Wind DNR

33. The Windflower Laura London Good

34. Naked in Death J.D. Robb DNR

35. Whitney, My Love Judith McNaught Ewww. I cant get over the fact that the names of the H/H are brother and sister in real life.

36. Nobody’s Baby but Mine Susan Elizabeth Phillips Was okay.

37. A Knight in Shining Armor Jude Deveraux I dont care what anyone else says. The ending is perfect.

38. Paradise Judith McNaught Like the names dropped in this novel — Kevin Costner and Meg Ryan — this novel is a has-been.

39. The Shadow and the Star Laura Kinsale Startling and elegant. Very good.

40. Dream Man Linda Howard Not bad

41. Out of Control Suzanne Brockmann DNR

42. Silk and Shadows Mary Jo Putney Putney in high melodrama mode. Gotta love her.

43. See Jane Score Rachel Gibson DNR

44. Shattered Rainbows Mary Jo Putney Technically, very good but I never forgave Michael for betraying Nick, even if he did.

45. Thunder and Roses Mary Jo Putney THIS is what romance is all about. Sigh.

46. The Duke and I Julia Quinn My favorite Quinn

47. Heart Throb Suzanne Brockmann DNR

48. For My Lady’s Heart Laura Kinsale As a Chaucer and Romance fan, this is da bomb! My favorite Kinsale.

49. Honor’s Splendor Julie Garwood Excellent

50. Lord Carew’s Bride Mary Balogh Fabulous! Great, great beta hero.

51. Untie my Heart Judith Ivory The “hero” scared me. I dont like stories about confidence artists anyway (unless it’s by Thomas Mann).

52. Dream a Little Dream Susan Elizabeth Phillips DNR

53. The Secret Julie Garwood Jeez, enough with the Garwood already.

54. This is All I Ask Lynn Kurland I don’t like Cute.

55. Slightly Dangerous Mary Balogh Kinda boring

56. One Perfect Rose Mary Jo Putney Good

57. To Love and to Cherish Patricia Gaffney Good

58. Kiss an Angel Susan Elizabeth Phillips DNR

59. Heaven, Texas Susan Elizabeth Phillips Good

60. Venetia Georgette Heyer Good.

61. Daughter of the Game Tracy Grant DNR

62. The Prize Julie Garwood What? Garwood again? Ugh!

63. Reforming Lord Ragsdale Carla Kelly Not bad

64. Prince Joe Suzanne Brockmann DNR

65. The Notorious Rake Good

66. Heartless Mary Balogh Did not like.

67. Son of the Morning Linda Howard Interesting change of pace by Howard

68. Sleeping Beauty Judith Ivory Good

69. Where Dreams Begin Lisa Kleypas Was okay

70. The Devil’s Cub Georgette Heyer Good

71. The Bronze Horseman Paullina Simons DNRĀ 

72. The Time Traveler’s Wife Audrey Niffenegar Interesting read. Good.

73. With This Ring Carla Kelly Very Good

74. The Lion’s Lady Julie Garwood No. Comment.

75. The Rake Mary Jo Putney Eur Hist Romance One of the all-time greats

76. Fallen from Grace Laura Leone Meh

77. Always to Remember Lorraine Heath Not bad

78. Castles Julie Garwood Did I say that Roberts wanted to take over the world? Maybe it’s Garwood after all.

79. One Good Turn Carla Kelly Good

80. Chesapeake Blue Nora Roberts DNR

81. By Arrangement Madeline Hunter Hunter is a must-read who needs a hell of a lot more love and recognition

82. Perfect Judith McNaught No comment

83. My Darling Caroline Adele Ashworth Was okay

84. The Defiant Hero Suzanne Brockmann DNR
85. The Unsung Hero Suzanne Brockmann DNR

86. Guilty Pleasures Laura Lee Guhrke Very Avon. Not bad.

87. Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte Um, okay. Marrying a bigamist is not romantic!

88. Kill and Tell Linda Howard No comment

89. After the Night Linda Howard Was okay

90. More than a Mistress Mary Balogh Probably Balogh’s best historical.

91. Born in Ice Nora Roberts Contemp Romance

92. Miss Wonderful Loretta Chase Good

93. The Charm School Susan Wiggs Amer Hist Romance

94. Scoundrel Elizabeth Elliott Eur Hist Romance

95. How to Marry a Marquis Julia Quinn Blech. Cuteness.

96. Angel Rogue Mary Jo Putney Good

97. Trust Me Jayne Ann Krentz Good

98. Dancing on the Wind Mary Jo Putney Very good

99. Once and Always Judith McNaught Would be McNaught’s best if it wasnt for the fact that I felt sorry for the other guy at the end.

100. This Heart of Mine Susan Elizabeth Phillips Contemp Romance

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